My family moved around quite a bit before I turned twelve, but every home we lived in had a fantastic backyard. One particular yard baked up to a local farmer’s field. My siblings and I spent hours running around and exploring outside, caring for nests of baby bunnies, picking flowers, and observing the llama that lived on the hill. We had a playground in that yard that lives larger than life in my memory, with a twirly yellow slide that felt like it was three stories tall.
There was a summer that my dad and sisters and I built a wooden fort that served as everything from our hobbit home to a Narnian castle. Then there was the fenced backyard of later years that, if you swung just high enough on the swingset, you could see cars going past. We would shout our hellos and see if we could get anyone to honk at us during the 3pm “rush hour” of our rural town.
When we moved to the city, we still had our trampolines, swing sets, and bikes that took up half of the two-car garage (eight childrens’ gear will do this). So when Joseph and I bought our first home, I was hopeful for a great backyard. Our home has many features that I love, but the backyard is not one of them.
Our yard slopes dramatically away from our home (I’m told this is good for our foundation) and into a fence. It backs up to the alley of a small shopping center. And smack dab in the middle of it is a storm drain. Not quite the idyllic backyard of my youth.
Now that we have little kids running around, we’ve had summers where we’ve become park people. There’s some fun parks within walking distance, as well as some favorites that are just a short drive away. Then we had a summer where we were front yard people, with Maeve mastering her training wheels and Ada toddling around with a toy mower. We still enjoy parks, and all three kids spend time in the front yard together. But as the girls have gotten a little older (3! Almost 5—in 12 days, she reminds us!) and started playing imaginative games on their own, I knew they needed a space to run around, use outside voices, get messy, and gather leaf bouquets without mom there watching over it all.
So we have come to “dirt summer”. Where I decided to stop worrying about a sloping backyard and a storm drain that my kids are not going to fall through. I sent them outside with a few random tupperware containers and some kitchen utensils, cracked open the kitchen window so I could hear if something went totally awry, and made dinner in almost complete quiet, with the exception of William sitting in the living room banging away at his toy drums.
The only member of the family complaining is Bishop, who is very concerned that the girls are playing in his dog dirt pile and that he isn’t allowed to join in the rumpus yet.
I’m on the lookout for a beat up plastic toy kitchen to toss out there and Maeve is getting a little gardening tool set for her birthday to encourage further digging and exploring. I’m letting go and realizing they’re going to build little play worlds without me. If anything, I’ll be the one disassembling their mulch and dirt “dinners” when I clean up the porch. But seeing them play outside in the dirt together brought back so many memories of my sisters and I doing the exact same thing.
They’ll get scrapes and bruises. There will be fights over which dirt spoon is theirs. And knowing our accident prone Ada, we’ll probably have a trip for stitches at some point. But they’ll also get to play, be little kids, and explore. And this is worth it. Long live dirt summer.
Once again, friends, I’m getting this monthly newsletter in your inbox on the last possible Friday of the month. Joseph was out of the country with work travel for a week this month and I had visions of typing away on this newsletter after putting kids to bed. Instead, there were many nights that I sipped an old fashioned, read the same paragraph of a book twelve times, and went to bed promptly at 9:15pm.
Now I’m typing these last few thoughts while sipping my first cup of coffee and savoring the last few minutes of quiet before all the kids are up for the day. Read on for books I’m enjoying, songs we’re listening to on repeat in car pickup line, and the latest episodes of the Letters to Women podcast! Thank you, as always, for reading along.
Songs and podcasts I’m playing on repeat:
Now for the songs my kids have been asking for over and over (and over):
If you want to have a conversation with your kids about the big questions in life (death, grief, marriage, etc), just listen to Go Tell Aunt Rhodie with them. I didn’t think the girls liked this song at all, but then I listened to Ada fall asleep last night singing the tune over and over.
The books and magazines keeping me up at night:
Verily, The Home Issue. I’ve read Verily Magazine online for almost a decade, so when I read about their decision to return to print, I knew I wanted a copy of their magazine on my coffee table. I particularly enjoyed their winter issue for two reasons. First, their poetry contest winners wrote some incredible poems, one of which I brought to our monthly poetry club to share. But second, the article by Helen on embracing natural beauty, coming home to herself, and going makeup-free at her wedding is a piece I’ve thought about long after I finished reading. Back when I had an Instagram account, Helen’s posts both challenged and encouraged me. It was lovely to read her in a longer form and explore the ideas of true beauty and femininity with her as a confident guide.
The Ghost Keeper by Natalie Morril. A book club selection! Often our book club picks are older works of literature, so it’s been a fun change of pace to read this work by a living author. I’m only six chapters in, but it’s been great so far.
Summa Domestica, Volume 2: Education by Leila Lawler. I hosted Leila on the Letters to Women podcast back in 2022 and our conversation is by far the most popular episode of the podcast. Leila has a blog, Like Mother Like Daughter, that I’ve been reading for years - and she is who taught me the practicals of making showers a regular thing for myself - but that is one of so many things I’ve learned from Leila. In her three volume set called The Summa Domestica, she compiles her practical wisdom on everything from when to take a shower to the importance of education. As we look forward to a homeschool year with our sweet Maeve next year, this volume on education has been an encouragement and helped me put things into perspective.
The books I’m reading (and re-reading!) with the Langr littles:
A Nest is Noisy // May I Bring a Friend? // Planting a Rainbow // Up in the Garden and Down in the Dirt // Caps for Sale // Over in the Meadow
A question for you:
…or something totally different? Tell me about it in the comments below! Also, this website looks delightful if you’re in a nostalgic book mood.
New episodes of the Letters to Women podcast!
Seven years ago when Joseph and I lost our little one, Marion, to miscarriage, I had so many questions but no idea where to find answers. Now, Dr. Abigail Jorgensen has created an incredible new book for women and couples grieving the loss of their child through miscarriage, still birth, and infant loss. It’s full of compassionate and clear answers to so many questions loss parents have and are sometimes afraid to ask.
Reading through Abby’s new book, I was able to take a deep breath and find answers that I’d been looking for since miscarrying. There were multiple points in this conversation with Abby that I cried and had such freedom to hold both the hard and the beautiful of parenting a little one who we never met this side of Heaven. I cannot recommend this episode enough for those of us who are loss parents, but also to anyone who knows and loves someone who is grieving a child who has died.
An eclectic collection of links to some my favorites this month:
Looking forward to this delightful workshop on reading fairy tales to the kids this summer // This new toy that all three of my kids enjoy playing with // A fantastic board game for your imaginative child // William’s summer pajamas // This strawberry jalapeno chicken was a delicious and easy weeknight meal // Joseph picked up this tea during his UK trip and it’s a fantastic decaf option for us evening tea drinkers // This curl care set is lovely, but the fact that Joseph tracked it down for me outside of London is even lovelier // Countdown is on until this new book comes out in the fall //
Something I’m looking forward to:
Every time spring rolls around, I have lofty aspirations to become a Saturday morning farmers’ market family. But life happens and we make it out to our local market once a season, if we’re lucky. So when a friend shared about a local CSA program through Catholic Charities that provides fresh produce every week and supports refugees in the community, I was all ears.
The farmers are experienced gardeners and farmers who are learning to farm in a new climate while also learning a new language and food culture. Having a farm share subscription means that once a week, we go pick up our share of five to seven locally grown seasonal vegetables and herbs. Not only is a farm share a beautiful way to eat seasonally here at our own home, it also supports a family putting down roots in our local community.
I’m picking up our first share next week and can’t wait! I’m also excited for July, when my flower share starts up, with a new bouquet from a local farmer each week for six weeks! If you’re local to Kansas City, you can find out more about New Roots Farm Share here.
This small change that makes a massive difference:
Making good pizza with a pizza stone is a talent that has eluded me for years until this month. What changed? I finally just searched YouTube for how to use a pizza stone without a pizza peel.
Less than two minutes later, all of my questions were answered and the girls and I went to work in the kitchen. The results looked fantastic and tasted even better. Not a slice was left.
Armed with the above knowledge, there is homemade pizza not once but twice on our meal plan this week. The first is pepperoni and mozzarella with a little bit of fresh thyme over the top, but the second is this all time favorite pizza recipe that I cannot wait to make with fresh arugula from our garden this summer!
A quote that has me thinking:
From the outset in the journey of contemplation, we are invited to a different awareness of the encounter with God. This path is not a sublime ascent to the heights of breathtaking views. Contemplation finds its home more in the gaze of a loving soul on the disfigured face of Jesus at Calvary, who asks if we can keep ourselves before his eyes.
Father Donald Haggerty, ‘Saint John of the Cross: Master of Contemplation’
A poem to leave you with:
I often return to re-read Daystar by Rita Dove. If you’re in a season where your only quiet in the day is nap times, this poem is for you. Enjoy!
She wanted a little room for thinking; but she saw diapers steaming on the line, a doll slumped behind the door. So she lugged a chair behind the garage to sit out the children’s naps. Sometimes there were things to watch – the pinched armor of a vanished cricket, a floating maple leaf. Other days she stared until she was assured when she closed her eyes she’d see only her own vivid blood. She had an hour, at best, before Liza appeared pouting from the top of the stairs. And just what was mother doing out back with the field mice? Why, building a palace. Later that night when Thomas rolled over and lurched into her, she would open her eyes and think of the place that was hers for an hour – where she was nothing, pure nothing, in the middle of the day.
In His Sacred Heart,
Chloe
p.s. We had someone take family pictures last month and they’re just too lovely not to share. Thank you for your support of my writing, which makes these newsletters possible! I’m forever grateful to be able to write during those few quiet moments and think about writing while wrangling our little crew during the day.