Grieving and celebrating the adoption that wasn't
Last Sunday, Joseph and I drove down to Mississippi to meet the birth mother we’d matched with. We got to spend the whole week getting to know her and her sweet baby girl. It was such an honor to witness her motherhood and spend time with this tiny girl who is such a fighter.
Last Friday, we got a call from our social worker letting us know that mom made the decision to parent her daughter. We started processing a holy mix of grief and joy. We celebrated because this mom deciding to parent her child is an incredible thing. And we grieved the could-have-beens. Then we packed up our bags and made the drive back to Kansas.
There have been many different types of griefs that I’ve carried with the Lord in the past decade. And I’ve had times of prayer that I’ve yelled at Him, demanding He tell me what He is about, what His grand plan is. But this grief is different, in part because I am so confident that we were exactly where the Lord wanted us last week.
I don’t know all the details around why we were there, and I don’t think I’ll know the whole picture until Heaven. But I do know that we asked Him to go before us and clear the path to Mississippi, and He showed off.
Every single day between matching and meeting this beautiful mom and baby, He reminded us that we lacked nothing, He provided everything.
During our time in Mississippi, we stayed with an incredible couple who opened up their home to us. We’d never met them, but they welcomed us with open arms, reminding us over and over that “our home is your home.”
Our friends and family back at home gave so generously of their time to be with our girls and Bishop here in Kansas while we were gone.
We matched with this incredible mom while our home study was being finalized. So many friends, family, and readers of this newsletter rallied around us and made it financially possible for us to say “yes” to this match without any stress around the expenses involved.
A few days before we left town, a massive windstorm swept through our neighborhood, demolishing roofs and leaving cars smashed in driveways. Our home was untouched.
He went before us and made the path straight. It just wasn’t the journey we expected.
The Lord has the exact child in mind who is meant to join our family through adoption. Until we meet him or her, He just asks us to be faithful and trust. Thank you for holding us so closely in your prayers this past month. Please continue to pray for us, for this mom and her daughter, and for the future littlest Langr.
Wait for the Lord, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the Lord! — Psalm 27:14
I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. — Philippians 1: 6
Tears in my eyes and heart as I read your last note. I believe as you do, you were there for a reason. I know the baby meant to become a Langr is near. That child and your current family are in my daily rosary. Praying the time will fly…….
Trudy B