August Naptime Notes
🎉 We're adopting!
Last January, I was getting some much-needed alone time. I was sitting in a reclining chair, just enjoying the silence and not needing to be anywhere for the next three hours.
Granted, half of my face was numb and I was in a dentist chair for some deep gum cleaning. Not my ideal way to recharge as a mom of toddlers but hey, I was trying to make the best of it.
I’d forgotten my earbuds, so listening to an audiobook wasn’t an option. And since I couldn’t move half of my face, chatting with the dental hygienist was also out of the question. So I decided just to sit in the quiet and pray.
For the past month, the Lord had been nudging me about total surrender to Him. I thought He was asking me to give up something, so I offered a variety of options to Him: Should I stop recording the Letters to Women podcast? Put aside my writing and freelancing for a while?
But each time I offered something up to Him, He made it clear that wasn’t what He was asking at all. So at the dentist that afternoon, I shared with the Lord that I wanted to say “yes” to whatever He was asking me to surrender, but He was going to have to be obviously clear. Then I just sat there in the quiet, waiting.
What if I’m asking you to adopt a child with Down syndrome?
I looked around because the voice was that audible—I thought for a split second that the hygienist was asking me that question.
Adopting a child with special needs, particularly a child with Down syndrome has been something Joseph has talked about since we were dating. But every time it came up in conversation, I shut it down. I figured we could talk about that when we got married. But then when the topic came up again about a year and half into our marriage, I shut it down for the second time. That kind of dream for our marriage was full of so many unknowns and it wasn’t what I expected our family together would look like.
I’ve got to be imagining this, I thought as the hygienist worked away. I lay there with my eyes closed until the cleaning was done, thinking that I was going crazy. Lord, I know you probably just gave me a very audible, obvious sign here. But can you give me. . . another sign? When I opened my eyes at the end of the appointment, I looked around and the room was covered in posters of children with Down syndrome (my dentist partners with Special Olympics).
On the drive home, I started thinking about how to have a very vulnerable conversation with Joseph. Every time this topic had come up in the past, I shied away from it. Now, I wanted to bring it up. And I wanted to do more than just talk about it.
Over the next few weeks while I waited to time the conversation well, there were so many times when friends brought up Down syndrome, adoption, and the topic of surrender in conversation, seemingly out of the blue. All of those affirmations finally gave me the courage to bring up the topic during a date night with Joseph.
We talked. We prayed. We kept talking, we kept praying. Months passed.
Then after countless conversations, research, prayer, spiritual direction sessions, and even more prayer, we started taking some steps: Choosing an adoption agency to partner with, filling out lots of paperwork, talking with parents of children with Down syndrome, and getting involved in our local Down syndrome community.
We’re still at the beginning stages of our home study with many more steps between us and being able to say “yes” to a family making an adoption plan. But we’re beyond excited and each step of this path has been level and smooth.
Please keep us in your prayers—especially for the grace of fortitude as we fill out paperwork and schedule home study interviews. We can’t wait to share more about this journey with you as it unfolds!
What I’m listening to on repeat:
Father of the Bride by Vampire Weekend. A friend (hi, Greg!) lent us this album on vinyl this spring, and I rediscovered it in the past month. It’s a great album to listen to all the way, but “Rich Man” is my favorite thanks to the catchy string section.
Jimmy Akin’s Mysterious World. When Joseph and I listen to podcasts together, we usually are tuning into the latest episode of Jimmy Akin’s Mysterious World. Jimmy, a apologist over at Catholic Answers, looks at ancient mysteries, urban legends, crimes, conspiracies, and the supernatural all from the twin perspectives of faith and reason. The archive of this podcast is about a mile long, so if you’ve never listened and want to start, I recommend this timely episode on inflation or this one on JFK.
Something I’m reaching for every day:
Meg Hunter Kilmer’s Bible in a Year reading plan. Last year I started Father Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year podcast (like almost every other Catholic I know!). I vowed to make it through Leviticus.
Well, I made it through Leviticus and then promptly stopped listening. But this summer, I’m diving back in but via Meg Hunter Kilmer’s reading plan. I’m learning so much and I can’t recommend it enough. I’m also beyond excited for Meg’s Bible Journal that is coming out in a few months!
A tiny shift that’s making a big difference
Some of my favorite dinner conversations with my family start with “Remember when…” I love hearing stories from my parents’ childhood, funny memories from my own childhood, and being reminded of things I’d totally forgotten. I’ve had a desire to capture some of those stories for a long time, but this month I decided to make a small change and just do something about it.
I started a group on Telegram (my favorite messaging app!) and invited my siblings and parents into it. Then, we just started sharing voice memos and texts about memories from growing up. There’s no structure or prompts. When we think of something, we just share it.
Oral family history is so important, and so many stories get lost because we don’t write them down. I’m excited to be able to access those memories anytime, download and keep the ones I particularly love, and share them with my kids in the future.
The books and articles keeping me up at night:
Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan. I knew very little about Helen Joy Davidman before reading this book—just that she was married to C.S. Lewis and that she died from cancer. But Joy inspired many of my favorite works from Lewis and their improbable (sometimes impossible) love story is gorgeous. I’m excited to get to know Joy’s work and dig into her poetry in the coming months.
The Genesis of Gender by Dr. Abigail Favale. Joseph and I are reading this book together and it’s a trip down memory lane. I minored in Women’s and Gender Studies in college and Dr. Favale’s point of view as a Catholic convert teaching in that space has been eye-opening to say the least. This book has fueled so many late night conversations at our house!
On Embodiment by Tsh Oxenreider. What does it look like when we embody our values and convictions in action? Holding a conviction can’t be boiled down to posting on social media or putting a bumper sticker on our cars. Embodiment happens when we recognize the sacredness of knowing our neighbors, picking up groceries for friends, asking the mom at the playground how she’s doing.
The books I’m reading (and re-reading!) with the girls:
Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star by Jerry Pinkney. We loved following the adventures of a brave chipmunk, and learning the full lyrics of this classic nursery rhyme was so fun!
Mice Skating by Annie Silvestro. Adventurous mice who knit and ice skate? The only thing sweeter than this little woodland escapade is the illustrations by Teagan White, one of our favorites!
A few conversations to tune into:
💻How do you make friends on the internet? And what does authentic friendship look like in Facebook groups, Instagram DMs and email inboxes? Elizabeth Vargas joined me on the Letters to Women podcast to visit about digital friendship. Tune into the conversation here.
🐟 One of my biggest fears is fish. I can’t stand them. I don’t swim in the ocean, I don’t swim in the lake, I don’t go to aquariums with the kids. Even talking about fish is making my skin crawl. However, I put aside my fear of fish for thirty minutes to talk with Noelle Merring about the feminine beauty and mystery of the sea, and what we can discover when encountering the familiar things in our lives with new attention and depth. Listen to our conversation here.
A quote I’ve been thinking on:
I often find myself thinking through my to-do list when I want to be praying. One thing that is helping me fight those distractions is praying this prayer to Holy Spirit from Sister Carmela of the Holy Spirit, O.C.D.:
“O Divine Spirit, pray then in me and through me. I ought to think that it is you who are praying and praising God in me, even when weariness or aridity or distraction prevent me from being recollected. I should remain, then, in a humble attitude of prayer, confident that you will draw from me the praise and glory which I do not know how to give, but which I desire to give to my God.”
A poem to leave you with:
Last week, the girls and I went on a adventure together at the local arboretum. There are over 300 acres to explore and it was so fun to see the girls walk around together, noticing different flowers, quietly watching the birds, and discovering a deer a few feet off the path.
As we were wandering through the woods, The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry came to mind. Every time I read it, it’s such a reminder to be present in the present moment—and that’s a reminder I’m needing very regularly in this season. Enjoy!
When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
In His Sacred Heart,
Chloe
p.s. When I saw that Dunkin’ already has their pumpkin spice lattes available, I cringed. What do you think?